The Perfect Match

written as a thank-you fic for China Shop and Sage, for their work in making DS Match a fun experience for both Team Angst and Team Romance.

It was one of those days. It was always one of those days, thought Angst gloomily. Ever since the break-up. She burrowed deeper into the couch where she had been sprawled all day, doing nothing but thinking depressing thoughts. Maybe she should have stayed in bed. Some days, it just wasn't worth the effort to get up.

The doorbell rang.

"Go away," yelled Angst.

The doorbell rang again.

"I don't want any!"

The doorbell rang again.

"Jesus Christ," muttered Angst, pulling herself to her feet and stomping over to the door. "Can't a genre personification get any quality wallowing time by herself without being interrupted?" She flung open the door.

"Hi there!" chirped Romance. She was carrying a bulging bag over one shoulder, and in her hands was a cheery bouquet of flowers, multicoloured delphiniums and chrysanthemums and asters and baby's-breath.

Angst eyed the bouquet warily. "What's this all about?"

"What do you think? I'm trying to win you back." Romance thrust the bouquet into Angst's hands. "Here, put these in water before they die."

"I like dead flowers," Angst said sullenly, but she got a vase from the kitchen and filled it with water, then put the flowers in it and set them on the table.

"Very nice," said Romance, who had followed her into the room. "They sure brighten this place up."

Angst shrugged, not wanting to admit that Romance was right. Because if she started down that path, she'd have to admit that the mere presence of Romance lifted her mood just as much—even more—than the flowers.

"And here, I've brought you chocolates," said Romance. She pulled a box out of her bag and placed on the table.

"Those disgustingly sweet milk-chocolate covered cherries? I don't know how you stand them."

"Some of them, yeah," said Romance. "But look." She took the lid off the box, and yeah, there were the milk-chocolate covered cherries all right, but between them were dark chocolates, and Romance delicately picked one up and held it out to Angst. Angst tried to take it from her, but Romance shook her head. "Let me," she whispered, as she placed the chocolate between Angst's parted lips.

Mmm. Romance had obviously shelled out for the good stuff: it melted on her tongue, bittersweet chocolate and the sharp tang of ginger, spicy and sweet. She couldn't keep a small moan from escaping.

Of course Romance noticed, and a smug expression crossed her face. "How am I doing so far?"

"What else do you have up your sleeve?" asked Angst suspiciously.

"I thought we could have a candlelight dinner," said Romance, digging into her bag and coming out with two tall pink candles in silver candlesticks. She was just about to light them when Angst reached out and grabbed her wrist.

"Are you crazy?"

"I just thought it would be romantic!"

"Yeah, right," said Angst. "This is my house. What do you think will happen if you light those?"

Romance sighed. "I suppose the curtains will catch fire and your house will burn down, and we'll barely escape with our lives?"

"Right. And possibly one of us will be horribly scarred."

"Okay, have it your way." Romance looked like she was about to cry, which cheered Angst up considerably. "It's just—don't you think it was a mistake to go our separate ways?"

That hit Angst hard, because she'd been thinking that as well. Not that she'd ever admit it to Romance, of course. She shrugged. "It was the right choice," she lied. "We're completely incompatible."

"But you need me!" said Romance, sudden steel in her eye. "Look at this place. You're miserable without me. You're all alone. Nobody wants anything to do with you when I'm not around—it's true, isn't it? Doom, despair, death and destruction. Who wants to read about those?"

"And what do you have to offer?" snapped Angst. "Fluffy bunnies? Oh, that's interesting. Not."

"You're right," said Romance quietly. "I need you too. Without you I'm forgettable, inconsequential. I have no substance. I need you." She took a step closer to Angst, ran a gentle hand down her face, and Angst tried not to lean into the touch. "We need each other."

"Everybody loves Romance." Angst tried not to sound bitter.

"But if the couple gets together on page one, what motivation is there to keep reading? Readers want more than that. They want excitement. They want barriers and obstacles, things to remind them that love is not always easy."

"Readers want a happy ending."

"But not at the beginning."

Angst shook her head. "They don't want break-ups."

"Maybe not," said Romance. She reached up to touch Angst again. "But if they get back together, perhaps all will be forgiven."

Romance was standing so, so close, and Angst inhaled her scent with every breath, fragrant flowers and summer rain, and it was so tempting, so very tempting—

—and then Romance leaned closer, and their lips met. Romance tasted like the chocolate-covered cherries she'd been eating, sweet and almost cloying; her lips were soft and gentle and yielding, and her arms slipped around Angst and held her close.

It would be easy, so easy, to lose herself in that comforting embrace, thought Angst. But she was not going to lose herself. Not this time. Deliberately she stiffened and stepped back.

But Romance did not waver. She looked Angst straight in the eye, saying, "Please? Don't you see? We're lost without each other. But together we're the perfect match."

"Maybe we are. But if we get back together, it's going to be on my terms. After all, you're wooing me. I'm the one that gets to say no."

Romance's face fell. "Are you going to say no?"

Slowly, Angst broke out into a grin. "Hell, no." Then she stepped forward and pulled Romance toward her, taking her mouth fiercely, uncompromisingly. Her hands tightened on Romance's shoulders, and with delight she heard Romance's moan, her surrender to the kiss. She'd missed this so much.

"Absolutely perfect!" came a voice from outside the story. "An uncomfortable and dramatic confrontation followed by a happy ending."

As one, Angst and Romance looked up.

"Listen, Readers. Just because we're getting back together doesn't mean you get to kibitz," said Romance.

"And there's no guarantee things will work out permanently," warned Angst.

Then Angst and Romance looked at each other, and smiled; and as one, they drew a curtain across the end of the story, so the Readers couldn't see what was going to happen next.

But we are pretty sure they lived angstily romantically more or less happily ever after.


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http://hieroglyfics.net/match.htm | written November 2007 by Isis